Honesty, bodies and spinsters
Hello self Think it’s time For some sort of intervention? I have become Something I should not be And god knows how But I’m sure he sat back and laughed Taking in the scene Or sulkily stomped out His will denied For free will will taunt him, you know If that’s what he wanted In any case It’s not how you felt Which is once again called into question As I am treated as though invisible Quel surprise I am in so deep This fog This sludge Will devour me completely I am sure How can this be? How can I Like a flower just blooming Be picked out Tended Neglected And withered so young? I am a spinster at 20 And doubtlessly overdramatic But I must be honest With somebody, at least And the way my heart has been beating lately Joking with me Teasing my blood back to the surface I am sure I am not In line for more of that The whispers and the way it felt to undress In front of you Amongst you Inside you and that gaze of yours And that hold Oh god How it felt And now a body So blank So normal Not at all extraordinary Belongs to me In the place of What I once had with you A frigid reminder Of the girl I used to be And so you see? I am old before my time And I’m sure it’ll pass Oh god How I pray it will pass But for now Bless me I am a spinster at 20.
